28 March 2009

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?

A: Because they don't know the words.&

Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.

Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.

Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?!
A: Look at the orange mama laid.

Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.

Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped them, they'd break.

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.

Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone

27 March 2009

Wah.. So fast come to Friday already..
Suddenly think of that fo the whole week im mainly stay at house for nothing ==
So bored sia... Haix...

Bring me the winner:
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧:
服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

26 March 2009

甲老师在批改英语作文，忽然大发雷霆：
“我从来没看过这么烂的英语作文”
乙老师见状问：“写的是什么啊？”
甲老师：“写一个王子和公主的故事。”
“不错啊”乙说。
“他竟然在开头写王子问公主‘can you speak chinese?'
公主回答‘yes',
接下来的全部都是中文！”

25 March 2009

Today went to sChool to get back My Certificate of O lvl!! HAha...
Quit boring anyway =.=''
AFter getting the certificate we went to play Bball at colour Court..
then went home ._. Lols...

On the way back i met Mr Lim ( My EL teacher)! haha..
Bored Sia... Haix...


Excuse for Speeding :
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
″Why on earth were you driving so fast？″ the policeman yelled.
″Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident！″

超速的理由:
　　哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。
　　“你们为什么开那么快？”警官喊道。
　　“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”

24 March 2009

Early in the morning woke up to help someone to shift a Bed!
The place is so Far Away From my Home!!!
I carried the Bed till hands Shaking!! Shake it Shake it!!

=.='' Then afternoon i went to Sim Lim Square to get my
Router for my internet. & i tried to find Ink for my Printer.
Unfortunally i cant find at all... PG37Blk for Cannon de!! Dun have sia... Y.Y
But the most Stupd Damn thing is that fourth floor there is one stupid uncle!
I just asked him one Question then he scold me Idiot!
Wakao... I curse that he will have not business at all!! Damn it sia..
where Got ppl doing business like this de..
Shit him!

Then at night i tired to set up my Router!
But my computer can connect to it while another one is not able to..
What the.... BTH!! Hot!! Zzzz...

23 March 2009

1、Why can fish only live in water?

2、What can you swallow that can swallow you?

3、If there were four flies on the table and I killed one,how many would be left?

4、What table has no legs?

Answers：

1. Cats can't swim。

2. Water

3. One Fly ( The Dead one)

4. TimeTable

22 March 2009

Today went to Enrolment Service at Weslet Methodist Church.
Dun know why suddenly dun feel like taking hotos sia.. -.-''
But like-ly i asked Ben to take photos!!HAha....
Tired sia those days... Haix...

21 March 2009

Having a bad mood for the day
Went to work at night at Furama Hotel.
The Person In Charge attitude SUCKS~!~!
& also there are many malys working there...
Their still anyhow scold the others.... What the.... =.=''
Work until damn tired sia...
Better dun let me be their Boss next time.....!!!

20 March 2009

A psychiatrist said to his patient, "Mr. Patient, I understand that you have a problem. Your problem is that you always contradict whatever other people say or do, right?" And Mr. Patient said, "No, that's not right." So the psychiatrist said,"OK! Then I must be mistaken, eh?" And the patient replied,"No! No! You're not!" And the psychiatrist said, "Oh, oh, oh,I got it. I got it. You're contradicting everything I say." And the patient said, "No, you're being ridiculous! You're crazy!"So the psychiatrist said, "I see, I see. Then you're perfectly sane, right? You're not crazy, right?" And the patient said, "No. No. I'm crazy as a loon." Then the psychiatrist said, "Oh, yeah, now we're making some progress here!"

一位精神科医生问病人：「先生，我知道你有个毛病，就是不论别人说什么或做什么，你都一概否定，对吗？」病人回答：「不对，不对。」医生说：「好，那一定是我弄错了，是吗？」病人回答：「不，不，你没有错！」医生又说：「噢，我明白了，你就是一直否定我所说的话。」病人说：「不对，你这个人真可笑！你疯了！」医生就说：「我懂了，你神智完全正常，没有疯，对吗？」病人回答：「不对，不对，我是神智不清的疯子。」这时医生说：「很好，我们现在总算有点进展了！」

19 March 2009

rich main and poor man 穷人、富人

A man committed a crime and was arrested by thecounty magistrate. He was sentenced to be floggeda hundred times and was terrified. Fortunately, he was rich so that he was able to bribe the magistrate and pay someone to take the punishmentin his stead, offering a hundred taels of silver to a poor man to stand in for him. Tempted by themoney, the poor man agreed so the magistrate released the rich man.After thirty lashes, the poor man couldn't withstandthe pain any longer and used the money he had received to bribe the magistrate to let him go. Upon his release,the poor man went to offer his thanks to the rich man who was supposed to have been punished. "I'm very grateful to you. Had it not been for the money that you gave me, I would have been beaten to death!"

有一个人犯罪，被县官抓来打板。本来要打一百杖，那个人怕了，不过他有钱，以前有钱的人可以贿赂县官，花钱找别人替你受这个刑罚。所以他叫一个穷的人来代替，给他一百银两，那个穷人贪钱答应了，县官也让有钱人回去了。结果穷人被打到三十板时，痛得实在受不了，就把所有的钱拿出来贿赂那个县官，县官就放他回去。穷人回去后，便跑到那个富有的、本来该受罚的人家里，道谢说「谢谢你！如果没有你的钱的话，我已经被打死了！」

18 March 2009

吝啬鬼死后

When a very miserly man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma, you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste!Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"

有一个人很吝啬，叫吝啬鬼，他死了以后下地狱，阎罗王骂他说：「你这个吝啬鬼，在尘间的时候什么东西都抓很紧不放，什么人都不给，看到贫穷、痛苦的人也不帮助，父母、亲戚、朋友也没有照顾好，让他们都挨饿受苦，你这种凶恶的孽障，应该被放入滚开的油锅里面。」鬼差就带他到滚得很热、很烫的油锅那边，吝啬鬼一看就说：「喔，等一下、慢一下！油那么多，怎么那么浪费呢？你们先把这些油倒出来，卖出去后把钱给我，然后丢我在热烫的水里就可以了！何必用油，而且还用那么多油！」

17 March 2009

The Never Ending Joint

As pothead walks down the road, a genie appears in front of him.

"I'll grant you two wishes," says the genie.

The pothead replies, "I want a never ending joint."

The genie says, "As you wish," and gives him the joint.

The pothead takes a long drag and says, "

Awesome! I want another one!"

16 March 2009

Two Things

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.

Boy: What are the two things?

Girl: Your feet.

15 March 2009

Oh Yarh! Today was a Busy day!!
Haha...
Woke up early in the morning prepare to Move House!!
So now i Moved to Bukit Merah View le!! ><
After some Cleaniing up the new house.
I went to AQ training!!
Today i was with the Sec 2 team to do map reading!!
It was completed faster then expected!! Haha...
But their Map Reading skill really......... =.=''